When he spots the impossibly beautiful Roxanne ( Daryl Hannah), a graduate student in astronomy making her summer home in Nelson, his heart leaps, yet he`s easy with her, funny and charming, perhaps because he realizes his nose disqualifies him from any serious romantic involvement. The nose, though, gives Martin the mark of imperfection he needs to create a genuinely sympathetic character. There`s nothing in his appearance that sets him off as an outsider-no funny mustache or horn-rimmed glasses-and without those visual signs of the underdog, his humor can sometimes seem uncomfortably smug and self-satisfied. Martin, with his WASPy, too-symmetrical features, has perhaps always been too good-looking to be a great comic. But his chief weapon is language-a wit fast and sure enough to compose insults that invariably top those of his tormenters, and, when he turns his wit against himself, to erect a protective barrier of sarcasm and self-contempt that no outside forces can penetrate. As a fighter, he has developed a thrust and parry with a tennis racket that parallels Cyrano`s skill with a sword. You flat-faced, flat-nosed, flat-head.To protect himself from ridicule, he has developed two sets of skills. Dirty: your name wouldn't be Dick, would it? Appreciative: Oooh, how original! Most people just have their teeth capped.
and He just kept on giving, didn't He? Disgusting: Say, who mows your nose hair? Paranoid: keep that guy away from my cocaine! Aromatic: it must be wonderful to wake up in the morning and smell the coffee. Inquiring: when you stop to smell the flowers, are they afraid? French: saihr, ze pigs have refused to find any more truffles until you leave! Pornographic: finally, a man who can satisfy two women at once! How many is that? Scientific: Say, does that thing there influence the tides? Obscure: whoa! I'd hate to see the grindstone. Sympathetic: aw, what happened? Did your parents lose a bet with God? Complimentary: you must love the little birdies to give them this to perch on. Sneeze, and it's goodbye, Seattle! Commercial: hi, I'm Earl Scheib, and I can paint that nose for $39.95! Polite: uh, would you mind not bobbing your head? The, uh, orchestra keeps changing tempo. Humorous: laugh and the world laughs with you. Philosophical: you know, it's not the size of a nose that's important, it's what's in it that matters. Punctual: all right, Delbman, your nose was on time but you were fifteen minutes late! Envious: Ooooh, I wish I were you! Gosh, to be able to smell your own ear! Naughty: uh, pardon me, sir, some of the ladies have asked if you wouldn't mind putting that thing away. Personal: well, here we are, just the three of us. Obvious: 'scuse me, is that your nose or did a bus park on your face? Meteorological: everybody take cover, she's going to blow! Fashionable: you know, you could de-emphasize your nose if you wore something larger, like. Oh, girls, girls! Do you actually believe that there are creatures from outer space who want to have sex with older women? They wanted to start a colony of supermen who would have sex with older women because they said, and I quote, "they really know what they're doing." You think I'm nuts, don't you? They wanted to ask me about older women.īecause they wanted to have sex with them. We'll miss "Dallas", come on, girls, let's go.
Took me over to Roxanne's house, because they wanted to observe me.Īh, this is bullshit. Then he took his palms, put them right on my face. A creature came out, had big suckers on his palms! He walked like this: Lights? You never saw so many lights! It was like Broadway! Then this door opened. The spacecraft! I was walking along, and a spacecraft landed right in front of me. They brought me home!įriday? Then it took no time! It didn't exist in time!
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